Now as I am getting older and having more experiences in my life, I am finding that I desperately need patience. What can I do to gain patience?
During the first week, they spent three full days Days 2 to 4 analyzing their undesired traits, peeling the layers of their personalities, and weeding out the reasons as to why they are who they are today.
Many of them discovered the fundamental That man was all too impatient behind their undesired traits—tracing back to as early as their childhoods. These root causes were the very things making them exhibit those undesired traits again, and again, and again, despite their continuous efforts not behave that way. Addressing impatience using external approaches like enforcing a patient persona, affirmations, and regulating breathing can be helpful, but only to a limited extent since they do not tackle the root cause.
It is more important that you understand the root cause of your impatience and tackle it from inside-out, which would create a permanent change in your behavior.
To understand that, we have to first understand what impatience is. An impatient person never wants to wait for others, or does so with great reluctance.
An impatient person feels angsty when things do not go to plan. As you can see, the impatient person is someone who often feels a great deal of urgencyinternal pressureand internal stress.
Why does the impatient person feel so much urgency, more so than others? What exactly is this rush for? I used to be a highly impatient person.
I would feel annoyed whenever people got in my way. I could never stand to wait more than a few minutes for a bus before feeling irritated at how long it was taking. If things ever progressed slower than expected, I would feel annoyed and irritated.
The funny thing was, I was never aware of my impatience until a year ago. Before, I always thought my impatient reactions were normal, knee-jerk reactions that anyone would have when caught in the same situation. It was only when I paused and reflected on my thoughts and behavior that I realized I was, in fact, quite the impatient person.
When I dug into my impatience, my answers opened my eyes. I asked myself, point blank: When I dug deeper, I realized this fixation with the future was due to an innate unhappiness with myself.
I had always had a subconscious belief that I was not good enough.
In my mind, I thought that if I were to work on changing myself, achieving bigger visions, and accomplishing more goals, I would finally be content and happy.
Hence, I kept projecting to the future, using it as my source of salvation. Did that work though?
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Not in the way I had imagined. Whenever I achieved my goals, I would feel happy for that moment. I was constantly in a rush, trying to get from one That man was all too impatient be it a mental vision or a physical place to the next.
I was driven to keep going, keep moving, so as to achieve this elusive end vision where I would finally be happy one day.
Do you see the problem here? There is nothing worse than being the man who has no vision or dreams. The problem here was a my inherent unhappiness with myself and b my belief that I had to get to somewhere before I could be happy and before I could be considered good enough. I kept thinking that there was something wrong with me and there was something that had to be fixed, which led me to keep looking forward into the future to address this gap.
Was that true though? My belief that there was something wrong was a flawed belief that had set me on a loop of feeling dissatisfied, trying to work on my areas That man was all too impatient dissatisfaction, and feeling dissatisfied yet again even when those areas were addressed.
This was precisely why almost every single thing would get on my nerves, because each little thing—be it the bus being late, to the copier machine being jammed—would be something that stood in my way of achieving my end vision, which in turn stood in my way of becoming a more desirable, less hateable, person.
All these little things were standing in my way of achieving my happiness. My angst at the external world was really due to my angst at the That man was all too impatient that I had to spend one more second being my present self whom I hated.
What finally resolved my impatience was when I addressed self-limiting belief about myself. Why I constantly felt that I was good enough. Why I hated myself so. When I did that, the feelings of impatience melted away like water rolling off skin. I was impatient no more. The root cause of my impatience might not be the same as the root cause of your impatience. I merely shared my story as an example that impatience is really an effect and not a cause to be tackled.
Their presence usually suggest incongruent, disempowering beliefs which should no sooner be corrected.
They are not mutually exclusive with each other. I shall now share with you a simple, minute long exercise to dig into the underlying cause of your impatience. If you often experience bouts of impatience or if you are impatient most of the time, use this exercise to discover the root cause behind this undesired trait.
Address Root Cause vs. Take for example, a guy who is constantly snappy to people around him, even though they are not trying to annoy him. It turns That man was all too impatient that his father had put him down since young, which made him think of himself as a good-for-nothing. Even though his father is no longer in his life anymore, he continues to feel that way today.
Address the false belief that he is a good-for-nothing. The reason why he thinks this way is because of how his father treated him when he was young, and not because he really is a good-for-nothing.
Addressing the false belief will free him from the restraints of his past, which will in turn remove his constant impatience.